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We have all felt anger at some point. Anger is a normal and even necessary emotion. But when anger is uncontrolled it can cause problems in your job, your personal relationships and even on your health.
What is anger?
Anger is described as a strong feeling of displeasure. When you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure increase. There are many things that may cause you to become angry, it could be an action of another person, an event, or anger can even be caused by worrying about personal problems in your life. Have you ever remembered an event that initially caused you to get angry, and gotten angry all over again? Memories can also cause renewed anger.
How do you express your anger?
The natural way to express anger is through aggression. Aggression is the instinctive, natural way to express anger. In certain situations, the aggression that comes from being angry may actually serve to protect you. Anger is an intuitive response to a threat. For this reason, a certain amount of anger, is beneficial.
On the other hand, your anger should not be allowed to turn into rage that cause you to lash out physically at other people or objects. If you punch a wall or hit someone when you are angry, your anger is probably uncontrollable and could be dangerous, to you and others!
Some people don't express their anger, they hold it in, and this too can be dangerous. This is called suppressing your anger. Suppressed anger can cause hypertension, high blood pressure and even depression. Not expressing your anger can create other problems as well. It may cause you to display passive aggressive behaviors, or to be constantly grumpy, moody or cynical.
Do you have suppressed anger?
What is passive aggressive behavior? It is getting even with someone or paying them back, without being direct about it. You don't want to confront them or tell them why you are anger or even that you ARE angry. So you do something that may hurt them, without being up front about it.
Are you constantly grumpy, moody or cynical? These symptoms are displayed by constantly putting others down, criticizing or insulting everything and everybody and repeatedly making cynical or sarcastic comments.
Do you get too angry?
If you have wondered if you have a problem controlling your anger, then chances are good that you probably do. Doctors, counselors or psychiatrists can give you a test that can measure your angry feelings to determine how well you handle your anger.
If you answer yes to any of these questions, you may have a problem with your anger:
1. Does your anger turn into violence, causing you to hit, kick, punch, push or physically damage another person or object?
2. Has anyone told you that you need to control your temper?
3. Have you had problems with the law as a result of your temper?
Tips to control your anger
You can't get rid of all of the anger in your life. Since anger is a normal feeling, there will always be circumstances that cause you to get angry. Learning to control your anger is the key.
1. Express your anger in a healthy way. Don't hit, kick or push anyone or anything. If you have physical anger that must be expelled, take up a sport such as karate or kick boxing to help release your frustrations. You could also invest in a punching bag and hit it whenever you are feeling angry.
2. Express your needs. We often get angry when our needs aren't being met. Make it a habit to discuss your needs before you explode in rage. Perhaps the other person doesn't realize that you are feeling unsatisfied.
3. Try relaxing. Relaxation methods such as deep breathing may help to calm you down. When you feel yourself getting angry, stop, remove yourself from the situation and take slow deep breaths until you feel a calm returning.
4. Try yoga or meditation to help you get in touch with your feelings and release pent up feelings.
5. Think before you act. Angry people tend to react quickly to a situation, which usually leads to an over reaction. If you are in a heated discussion or you feel yourself getting angry, stop. Don't say the first thing that comes to mind, think carefully about what you want to say. How many times have you reacted in anger and later thought, "I shouldn't have said that"? Think first, then speak.
6. Change the way you think. This may be easier said than done, and it will take some practice. The next time you feel yourself getting angry, instead of cursing and swearing, tell yourself, "I'm mad but I can deal with this." Control the anger instead of letting it control you.
Do You Need Counseling For Your Anger ?
If you feel that you are not able to control your anger or if your temper is causing problems at work or in your personal relationships, counseling may help you learn to control your anger. Many agencies offer anger management courses for free or for a small fee. Contact your local health department or mental health agency for more information on the types of programs available in your area.
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